The year is coming to a close, and I — like everyone you know — am taking the time to review it. Obviously, this is my favorite thing that happened:
obligatory wedding photo <3
I did a lot, though. My husband and I moved in together and got married all in the same month. I changed positions at work, started school, had some pretty stark mental health issues there for a bit, and have been just generally dealing with Adult Stuff a lot. It was a busy year, both externally and emotionally.
I have not written as much as I’d like, though.
As such, I’ve been reviewing my writing habits, as well as goals, and thinking, Okay, where do I go from here?
The real answer is: I don’t know. But I have some ideas.
I wrote this pep talk for our region, and I like it quite a lot. So here it is for you as well, in case you need it. ♥
I’ll be honest with you because we’re friends now (I decided that for us) and you don’t lie to your friends: I should be working on my novel right now. I’m writing this at the beginning of week three, much later than I promised Neil I would, and I have about thirty minutes before I’m supposed to catch the bus to school.
Because we’re friends, I’ll also take this moment to be vulnerable with you: writing is hard when you’re a busy adult with many important things to do. It’s hard to choose to carve time out for something deeply personal when everything else seems more pressing. Why haven’t I folded the laundry? Why aren’t I volunteering at a soup kitchen? Shouldn’t I be spending more time with my family? Is this really the best use of my limited time on this crazy earth?
I’ve been quietly stepping back from the Internet, mostly on accident. I got extremely busy over the summer and didn’t have much time. When I started to have slightly more down time, I began to notice how increased time online was both hurting me and making me angry. Over the last 24 hours, I’ve been distracting myself from dealing with real feelings by instead focusing on why every time I get online, I walk away quickly feeling frutrated and tired. (Emotions my real life has enough of in spades; I don’t need to add more.)
One of my favorite websites ran an article that has sat with me for a while: How the Internet Flattens Generations. In my increasing frustration with the Internet, I come back to that thought: the internet flattens generations.
My husband and I have been talking on-and-off about how the Internet narrows our focus down to really minute places. We don’t see whole pictures — we get really hung up on minute-to-minute dissections of tragedy and horror and human pain. We tend to get over the happy endings and the resolutions of issues pretty quickly. Oh, ho hum, story over — where’s the next piece of tragedy porn for me to obsess over?! We’re gobbling up the Internet’s obsessions with bad news after bad news after bad news — then going out into the world with a conclusion that the world is exclusively bad.
A sidebar: I don’t think that addressing the problems in our society, the horrors that occur worldwide, and all of these things is a problem. We need discussions of the bad in the world, because if we cannot see the bad, we cannot be good and become better. Making the world better for everyone can’t exist in a vacuum, and is impossible if we refuse to even see the problems. But they have to be discussions, not just endlessly yelling LOOK AT THIS BAD THING IT WAS SO BAD I HATE THIS BADNESS THIS WORLD IS BAD END IT IN FIRE.
(I think this is how Batman got his start. BRB becoming a vigilante.)